


The Loss

by theredplace



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Bottom Yagami Light, Character Death, Dominant L (Death Note), Drug Addiction, Fake Character Death, Gun Violence, L Wins (Death Note), M/M, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Rape/Non-con Elements, Top L (Death Note)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:20:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27535936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theredplace/pseuds/theredplace
Summary: Light's 13 day rule is proven false. L fakes Light's execution to keep him as a pet to humiliate and defile.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light
Comments: 14
Kudos: 170





	1. The Loss

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've posted anything in a long while, so sorry for the wait. I wiped my entire account of my older fics since I want to start fresh. I hope you enjoy this two-part dark fic!  
> -theredplace

Light could feel his time dwindling, swirling into the abyss until there was nothing left. L never took off those handcuffs and he never took Light and Misa out of his 24/7 surveillance, even with all of the fighting and shouting from the rest of the task force. No, L was determined to win through any means necessary. 

No matter how much Light yelled at L to take those handcuffs off, the detective never listened. He felt trapped and he was falling, destined to hit the ground until his bones snapped. There was nothing that could save him now, not even a God of death. 

When the 13 day rule proved to be phony, Light knew it was all over. He would never forget the look in his father’s eyes when the moment finally came, pupils dilated with fear and denial. Light remembered his dad making that very same look when he first went into confinement and admitted that it was possible that he COULD be Kira unconsciously. 

Everyone was told that Light was going to be executed for his crimes against humanity, for the genocide that he had pushed forth. His friends nor family could say goodbye, as this was all done with utmost secrecy. 

Light had expected Rem to strike at some point, seeing as Misa was certainly going to die alongside him, but she never did. He was separated from Misa the very day that their facades fell and he had never seen her again. Light doubted that Misa was dead because Rem would flip her shit and end L and Watari immediately, so what happened? Did L somehow anticipate Rem’s protectiveness over Misa? Did he make a deal with her? Oh, L most certainly did. It was just like him to do such a thing. He probably faked her death, but in actuality, she is very much alive, most likely held up in a secure facility for the rest of her life. But Light didn’t have his very own Rem. His shinigami didn’t give two shits about Light’s life one way or another. He was as good as dead with Ryuk around.

He remembers being blindfolded and apprehended instantly. His arms were handcuffed behind his back just as he was in confinement and his ankles were shackled together. He wasn’t told what was going to happen, but he didn’t have to; he was going to be sent to his execution as Kira.

Light was restless and his stomach felt absolutely awful. His mouth was dry and Light felt… scared. He didn’t want to die! He wasn’t done being on this Earth just yet! But he couldn’t do anything, and L made sure of that. His limbs were bound, he couldn’t see, and he didn’t have the notebook.

His entire body was strapped down to a chair and he still couldn’t see, but he could hear footsteps approaching. That was his executioner, it must be! The man to kill Kira!

A sharp pinch to the neck and Light expected himself to be dead within the next few minutes, but as more time went on, Light found that he was not only still alive, but that he was beginning to feel weird. What did weird mean? Light didn’t even know. His fingers and toes were tingly and his head felt like it was buzzing. 

“Light,” a voice, L’s voice to be specific, came through an intercom speaker. “Can you hear me?”

What was happening? The room began to spin and Light’s ears were humming with a tune that seemed familiar, yet all at once foreign. It was hypnotizing and Light was beginning to stare into the darkness in a trance.

“Light, can you hear me?” broke him from his daze..

“L?” His tongue felt fat in his mouth and it was difficult to speak. 

“Yes, Light,” L answered. “How do you feel?”

“Am… Am I dead?”

Light was so confused and he couldn’t think coherently anymore. Everything had a yellow, reddish tint to it as if he were wearing colored glasses and his peripherals were shifting, making his reality appear to be glitching like a video game. 

“Do you think you are dead, Light?”

He couldn’t be dead, L was talking to him. He could still feel his physical body and he didn’t see any stereotypical bright light, so —

“Am I dying?”

“Do you feel like you are dying?”

“No… I feel…” he paused to find the correct words, “like i’m floating.”

“Very good, Light,” L said, satisfied by the answer.

“What is happening to me?”

“You are scheduled to be executed January 29th at 4pm. You have been injected with a concoction of drugs of my choosing, however, they are not lethal. I have different plans for you — plans that do not involve your death, so you should be satisfied, Light Yagami. To the world, you are dead. Nobody but Watari and I will know that you are still alive and we plan on keeping it that way. You will be relocated to a new housing cell and from that point on I will discuss further with you on what will be happening afterwards. Your life does not come cheap. You will have to pay for it. Goodbye, Light, until we meet again.” 

The voice cut out and Light was left alone with his “executioner”. As he was being freed from the restraints of the chair (only to be cuffed from head to toe afterwards), Light had a lot to think about. L had drugged him and was moving him to a new cell before discussing the terms regarding the rest of his life. 

Perhaps God was on his side; he didn’t die when he should have. He had been spared, but little did he know that L was going to make him wish that he wasn’t.

The next few hours were hazy and Light didn’t remember the move, only shattered pieces and fragments. His new housing cell was rather grand, honestly. He expected to see a small room with an itchy cot and a toilet in the corner, but it looked like a small apartment. There were rooms and there was enough living space to occupy two. Light knew that there must be cameras everywhere; L would never leave Light by himself ever again. 

Light sat down on the bed, swaying as his cuffs and blindfold were taken off. The room was so damn bright that it made him squint and cover his eyes. He had been blindfolded ever since he was caught, so he wasn’t used to the light.

The man left the room and Light sat there, staring at the doorway as it emptied itself. Everything was moving on its own; the lights were swirling in his vision and he could see the corners of tables and furniture “glitch” every now and then.

He had no concept of time, so it could have been minutes or hours that L was standing there. Wait, since when was L there? Light blinked, realizing that L was in fact in the same room as him. Was he waiting to see how long it took Light to notice that he was there?

“Light,” L greeted, slumped against the side of the doorway. He kept his distance. “How are you feeling?”

Light had forgotten that L had asked him that question a mere few hours ago. 

“Like i’m floating.”

“Very good, Light,” L said exactly the same as before. Very slowly, L’s blurry figure approached him on the bed and he reached out to cup Light’s cheeks to analyze his face. His pupils were blown and he seemed a little tired and warm to the touch.

L’s palms holding his face felt… nice. His skin buzzed and he rested his chin in L’s hands, closing his eyes. He was enjoying it.

“Do you know who you are?” L asked.

“I’m Light Yagami.”

L noted how he didn’t say “Kira”. 

“Why are you here? Where are you?” Light opened his eyes to scrunch his face in thought. He didn’t remember getting here and he didn’t remember what happened at all today. L took in Light’s silence before giving his first command. “Squeeze my hand as hard as you can.”

L removed his hands from Light’s face and he reached up to squeeze L’s hand. His grip was nonexistent. L smiled at that.

“Very good, Light.”

It didn’t take much force for L to press Light down into the mattress; he was malleable and he easily gave in. 

“L, what are you —”

“Shh, Light,” L quietly shushed, running his fingers through Light’s soft hair to calm him. “I want you to focus on what you’re feeling. Do you feel my fingers in your hair?”

Light’s heart was thumping against his chest. He felt panicked even though the movement was subtle, but as soon as L pet him like a puppy, he gradually began to calm down. Light grounded himself with the feeling of L’s hand brushing his hair. It made the hairs all over his body stand up on end. 

“There you go, Light,” L praised, seeing Light’s body physically untense a little. He pressed small kisses to Light’s neck, enjoying the small gasps from him. It was music to his ears, though he was sure that Light’s moans are going to sound far more delightful, but all in due time. 

Light gripped onto the hem of L’s shirt loosely as the detective kissed and suckled at his neck. It felt sinfully good and much more intense with his high. He was so high that he didn’t realize how fucked up the situation truly was.

“Light, you are going to live,” L murmured against his neck. “You do not have to do much in turn since I am merciful. All you have to do is listen to me. It is very simple. I will not ask much of you.” A hand slid up his shirt and pinched his nipple, making Light cry out. L liked that noise, so he did it again.

“L — What are you doing?!” Light asked, feeling himself quickly become hot all over. He was sweating and his clothes were beginning to stick to him like gum. L sucked right underneath Light’s ear, drawing a moan from him. “L, are you trying to —” 

“Yes.”

L was going to fuck him.

“Wait, I can’t!” Light cried. “You can’t!” He weakly pushed at L, yet the man didn’t budge one bit nor did he stop. “L!”

“Keep calling my name like that,” L ordered, reaching down to cup Light’s cock through his pants. 

Light was back to panicking and he kicked and shouted, but he felt like he was moving through water. None of his hits did anything to L, in fact it only seemed to turn the detective on even more. L’s touches became more eager and insistent. 

“L, I don’t want to!”

“Yes you do, Light. Do not lie to me. You know that it’s pointless.”

Heat pooled deep within Light’s belly and he moaned as L rubbed at his dick. L reached into his boxers and gently ran his fingers up and down Light’s quickly hardening cock. Whatever L injected into him was forcing him to become horny and needy under L’s hands and mouth. Light would be pissed off and humiliated if he weren’t high as balls right now.

“I don’t want this,” Light said in between groans. 

“Then why are you aroused?”

“It’s what you — what you did to me!” Light squirmed and resisted, but he was getting nowhere. L was still kissing and touching him. “I don’t want to do this! You have to get off of me!”

“I have to get off of you?” L repeated, circling his thumb around the slit of Light’s wanting cock. “What authority do you have over me? You are dead, Light, and you are also my prisoner. I spared you from execution. You owe me the rest of your life.”

So what, he sold L his soul? Light didn’t even beg for L to save him, in fact, he had refused to talk to anybody after being caught; he had been tight lipped. However, questioning Light wasn’t technically necessary. They know how he kills and what his motivation behind it was, so there wasn’t much else to ask. Based on L’s behaviour and actions, Light deduced that the price for his life was his body.

L pulled away to strip Light’s body of his clothes, taking off his shirt and pants. The cold nipped at Light’s bare skin, causing goosebumps to pimple over the entirety of his body. He felt vulnerable and defenseless laying underneath L like that. L shifted downwards until his mouth was hovering just shy over Light’s dick, staring down at him to embarrass him. It worked and Light attempted to cover himself for modesty, but L was quicker than his drugged counterpart and he pinned his arms down to the mattress.

“Relax, Light. This will feel good for you.”

L gave the head of Light’s cock a gentle lick which drew a surprised “ah” from him. His tongue was wet and warm and Light felt that little pool of heat in his belly grow. He instinctively tangled his fingers into L’s hair, tugging at it. 

L popped off of his dick to say “very good, Light” before sinking his mouth down further onto him. He began to bob his head, using his tongue all over him to drink up the noises Light was making. 

Light’s mood quickly changed from aroused to panicked as the hairs underneath his fingers wrapped themselves around him, pulling him closer to L. He shouted and immediately pulled his hand away only to smack himself right in the face. Light had hallucinated. L watched, perplexed by this as he took Light out of his mouth. 

L didn’t anticipate that Light would be too high to have sex. Then again, he had no idea how the drugs were going to affect him. Either way, L was disappointed and he pulled away from Light. He didn’t want to fuck some brain dead version of Light Yagami. 

“L?”

Light was confused as to why L suddenly stopped, though he wasn’t complaining. The detective stood up and sighed, pressing a thumb to his lower lip in thought. During the time that L reflected, Light had fallen asleep on the mattress. 

“That’s no good…” L quietly murmured to himself. 

He needed a new plan.


	2. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light deals with withdrawal and depression, all the while L has been radio silent. After a week of no contact, L finally talks to Light, ensuing the end.

Sore, achy muscles, a dry mouth, throbbing bones, and a headache. That’s what Light woke up 10 hours later. He groaned, struggling to sit up.

The gentle flow of light through the window blinds hurt his eyes, despite the bedroom being relatively dark. He was too disorientated to know what was going on, but at least he was finally sober.

Light couldn’t believe that L drugged him, not to mention that he also tried to fuck him! The evidence of L’s mischievous wrongdoings were all over his body. He had love bites covering his neck and he had woken up naked. 

What happened yesterday? He was supposed to be dead, yet L decided to keep him alive to be a fuck toy? This wasn’t good. 

Light doubted that he could escape, so what could he do? This was no fate for Kira! He absolutely refused to allow this to continue. What were his other alternatives? Death. That was his only other option. He had to pick between getting executed (for real this time), or to become L’s personal cum rag. But he couldn’t think during his drug comedown. 

Light pulled his clothes over his body and rested against the mattress. He stayed like that all day, not moving nor eating. Food was brought to him, but they didn’t force Light to eat it. It was probably L’s orders not to push him since he was so strung out. 

That was only the beginning, however. Once the cravings set in, Light went mad. The drugs L injected into him must be highly addictive for Light to become attached after one use. A sort of depression set in. He wanted to cry and scream and goddamn he was so fucked up! 

With every day that passed, the cravings and depression slowly subsided until Light could think more clearly. During that time, he hasn’t seen L once. He was likely waiting for the drug comedown to end. 

Light had just finished using the bathroom when he saw L crouched on the couch. He was typing on a laptop, barely paying any attention to Light. 

Since when did he get here? Light never remembered L being so… subtle and unnoticable before. 

With the way that L sat on the couch, typing nonchalantly, it reminded Light of the old days when they were chained together. He remembered the first week of getting used to the handcuffs. The sound of L’s slim fingers clacking against the keyboard at night drove him crazy. He felt nostalgic, but the feeling quickly passed. Instead, anger filled him to the core.

“You drug me and then you don’t show up for a week?” Silence. “What is wrong with you? Why the hell would you do that to me, not to mention that you also tried to rape me!” Still nothing from the detective. “Are you even listening?”

L shut his laptop and stood up, tucking the device under his armpit. He brought out a chess set from a cabinet and placed it over the coffee table. Light watched, perplexed as L began to put the pieces on the board. He then made his first move in the game before leaving completely, leaving Light all alone once again.

“L, get back here,” Light called, but he swiftly dropped it when it was made apparent that L wasn’t going to be coming back for a while.

What was the point of this? What was the goddamn point?

Light didn’t touch the chessboard. He considered it briefly, but honestly, he was too depressed and angry to be in the mood to play. 

His situation weighed on his shoulders and Light found himself smothered by it, unable to breathe. He felt like he was drowning, thrashing, and splashing in an endless ocean of L. The detective was everywhere and Light couldn’t escape him. His only escape was… death, but Light didn't want to think about it. No, he didn’t want to die, but what other options did he have?

L came by the next day, finding the chessboard untouched and Light laying glumly in bed. This time, Light had heard L enter, but he didn’t move. 

“I was worried about this…” L murmured quietly to himself as he stared down at the chess set. He then appeared at Light’s doorway. “Light.” Light slowly looked up from the sheets, his expression and body language completely miserable. “I will make a deal with you.” Light didn’t say anything, but he listened. “I will allow you to die… if you let me have sex with you.”

Light blinked, caught off guard. 

“What?”

“I want to have sex with you. Then you can die.”

L had picked up on Light’s obvious depressive behaviour. He knew that he had thought of death, in fact, it was most likely the only thing on his mind. 

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Just make a decision, Light.”

He shouldn’t be too surprised that L would ask that of him, but knowing that L had sexual impulses like everyone else was weird. 

For a very long time, Light hasn’t really associated L as a living, breathing human being, but more as an entity; a name that stroked the flame within himself to conquer, to destroy, and to humiliate. He saw him as a faceless being that had no shadow, that had no pulse.

When he had met L in person — and when it was confirmed he was who he said he was, it was odd to know that L was a person. He had a beating heart, breathing lungs, and a pulsing brain. God, that brain… Many times Light had thought about that brain of his, working clockwork in the shadows. He had admired L’s brain. He always wanted to peel away the scalp, to rip the skull from flesh just to see that living brain in person to dissect it piece by piece. 

Time and time again when Light was chained to L, even with no memories of being Kira, he had felt this way. He usually had the urge to place his palm over L’s chest to feel that beating heart enclosed behind his ribs to reassure himself that L was neither a ghost nor a figureless embodiment of “justice”. 

Perhaps it was dissociation, or at the very least Light couldn’t correctly associate L with anything that lived on this Earth the same way that he would sometimes believe that he himself, Kira, was no living entity. Every now and then, Light would have to ground himself by closing his eyes to listen to the sound of his blood pulsing past his ears to remember that yes, he was a living organism.

Not to say that he thought of L as a God, but what other word was there for it? Two Gods living amongst each other? Two separate and unique, yet similar entities existing together, Light supposed.

However, he no longer acknowledged L as such. L was no God, he was just another corrupted human being. He was nothing compared to Light, who was pure and righteous. 

L had destroyed Light’s perception of him with his recent actions. He knew that L was morally grey at times, but he never expected him to be this fucked up in the head.

“I’m not going to have sex with you,” Light answered.

L didn’t seem phased by his decision at all. With the expression on his face, Light knew that L had predicted it.

“Very well, Light.”

L approached Light on the bed, sneaking up to him as if he were stalking prey. He moved so horribly slowly that Light briefly questioned if he was still high. Once he reached the bed, L climbed onto it and hovered over Light.

“L, I said no!” 

Light moved to push L away, but the detective was faster than him. With his body pinned down by the weight of L’s hands and knees, he was defenseless and vulnerable. 

“You’re going to take it this time,” L grumbled with a rough voice, “so make it easier upon yourself and submit, Kira.”

It was just then that Light realized what was happening here. Now everything made sense. L didn’t desire him sexually; he wanted to dominate Kira and humiliate him, he wanted to show that he was better than him and far more superior. 

This angered Light, so he scrambled out from under L’s grasp with some effort and punched him across the jaw, shouting “get off!”

L didn’t like the defiance, yet it weirdly thrilled him. Of course Light was going to put up a fight. What a prideful brat. He held his throbbing jaw in his hand for a moment before he launched forward to wrap his fingers around Light’s throat.

“L — No, stop!” Light choked out, squirming and thrashing underneath L like a fish without water. He didn’t stop, however. L only tightened his hold around Light’s neck. 

Light’s eyes felt like they were about to pop from their sockets and his tongue felt swollen in his throat. It was hard to breathe and his fingertips and the back of his head were being pricked by invisible needles. “L!” He called out once more, but weaker this time, trying to find a small speck of mercy. 

“You don’t get to beg for your life, Kira,” L spat, digging his nails into the flesh. “Your victims didn’t get to beg, so why should you? You’re not any different.” Light’s legs twitched and kicked, their movements gradually becoming much slower the more time passed. “Look at you underneath me. You’re dying, Light. How does it feel? Are you scared? Tell me.” His questions were mocking, as he didn’t allow Light to answer.

Light could feel himself slipping away, and soon, darkness splotched his vision until he could see nothing else. 

Within the blink of an eye, he was awake again and he found himself tied up to the bed. His wrists were handcuffed to the headboard and his ankles were strapped down with leather straps. 

It took him a second to register what was happening. His throat felt swollen and tender and the pain had distracted him from what was going on.

Light was covered in cum and was currently being fucked by L, his thighs forced open by the restraints. He screamed, but only a gargled groan wheezed out.

L grinned down at him, an expression that Light had never witnessed before. This grin was conceited and filled with malice and ice.

Light could feel his insides squelching with L’s thrusts and semen dribbling out and down onto the mattress. L had cum inside him multiple times by now and was working up to his third orgasm.

He tried to speak, but he couldn’t, and managed incoherent gargles. L laughed at this, gripping onto Light’s hips with enough force to bruise them. 

“Light,” L said, the name sloppy on his tongue as he got closer to orgasm. “You have no one left. Your family and friends think you’re dead. The world knows Kira has been caught. You have lost. Your existence only serves as my trophy. The truth is, I was never going to keep you alive for long.” He wanted to humiliate him one last time. 

Light wondered if L did this to every one of his trophies, and it seemed that L had read his mind and answered his silent question.

“With every victory, I celebrate, Light.” Groaning, L spasmed inside him before pulling out, trailing spurts of semen all over Light’s thighs and hole. He looked down at him, satisfied. “I think I enjoyed this victory the most.”

Light felt utterly pathetic and that’s exactly what L wanted. 

His heart pumped wildly in his chest as he witnessed L moving to retrieve a gun from his bedside. Without warning, L grabbed Light’s jaw and shoved the barrel of the gun into his mouth. It tasted like metal and Light tried to spit it out, but he was practically gagging on it.

“I win, Light Yagami.”

Light heard a click, followed by nothingness. 

This was his loss.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this fic, please leave kudos and a comment as I would really appreciate it. You can also leave some feedback as well since I want to keep developing as a writer. Take care!  
> -theredplace


End file.
